Letter to Our Friends and Family - January 4, 2011

Dear friends and family -

Although I always love to get a good laugh out of people, when it comes to trials and tribulations I'm typically a private person, and as we've walked this journey I have remained pretty quiet - but God has certainly put it on my heart to share a few thoughts with you all.  I have come to realize that this is not my story to share - it is our son's.  As most of you are aware we're expecting a little boy soon - I am due on Jan. 11th (although if he is anything like his big sister I expect we may be waiting longer!)  We know that he is not well - and as the cold medical field would say, is "incompatible with life". 

We have spent the last five months knowing that we would carry this baby only to give him back to the Lord.  No one knew he would be such a fighter...we thought for sure this would end months ago - but this little boy had no intentions on going anywhere before his time.  In the beginning I couldn't imagine how we could possibly go through with this - how I could possibly put my family and my daughter through this.  As I accepted it was something that we had to do, I said fine Lord, but I don't think I could ever face him - please take him home soon.  As time continued to pass I said fine Lord, I will face my son, but please take him home soon.  Now, as my time with him begins to draw to a close, with God's perfect timing - there is an antipication in my heart to meet my little fighter. Even though the world would not call him perfect, I know he will beautiful to us, and I will be so proud of him.

I am proud of him because he has accomplished more in his little life then most of us do in our whole lives.  He has taught us how to be courageous and the true meaning of obedience - things that Mike and I would have tried so hard to teach him.  He has taught us to cherish every second, how to slow down and enjoy life, and be thankful for every moment the Lord provides.  (I can't tell you how appreciative I am for every moment I share with our daughter Evie).  He has taught us that in the end, it's all really about our journey with Christ, and our ultimate path home.   

Everyone tells us how strong we are and what an inspiration Mike and I are - please know that it is not us, I think if there was somehow we could have done this in secret, we would have. I have to tell you that there is just no way that we could function like human beings and be as joyful as we have been without God.  You can't deny that His existance is our source of strength - that He has given us the grace every single second of every single day to go on.  Our son's life is a reflection of this grace.  It never could have been up to me or anybody else to take this time from him - to say he wasn't entitled to his time on earth.  And whether he lives a few minutes, a few days, or enters the presence of the Lord as he enters this world, this was HIS life to live - he is a testimony to God and no one would have any right to take that from him.  My heart breaks for all the babies that aren't given that chance - whether they are "imperfect" or just not wanted - I can only pray that these babies' mommies and daddies hear their child's voice from deep within and stand up and fight for them.  I pray that our son's story will give others the courage to do that. 

We have decided to name our son Timothy Frank. Timothy was a very young disciple for Christ - who's mother and grandmother instilled in him a love of God and knowledge of scripture.  We know that God created our "Tiny Tim's" short young life purely to be a testimony to Him.  Frank is after my father - likely the most remarkable man I have ever known - he too was a fighter and I'm sure our son has gotten this spirit from his Grandpa.  We are thankful that Timothy's life will be spared from the heartache of this world - we know that as Paul writes in Phillipians that our citizenship is in heaven - and we will meet him there, fully restored to perfection. 

We want to thank you all for your prayers, support, meals, friendship, and just listening.  When this all began I had never felt more like an "alien" in a strange world - but God has brought so many people into our lives and created so many friendships we never anticipated to surround us, along with our tried and true friends and family.  There have been so many fears that have accompanied this journey but as the prayers pour in it's like a shield has been put up around us to block the attacks on us.  I can't say that we are not anxious of what is to come - but I do know that God has given us grace to sustain us every single day and I know He will get us through this.  We continue to ask for your prayers - but most of all, we ask you to tell his story - we want his story to continue spreading God's word long after he departs us.  As 2 Timothy 4:7 says, I believe our son has "fought the good fight", he has "finished the race", and has "remained faithful".  I pray that he will always be an inspiration to all the lives he has touched. 

Lots of Love,
Mike, Holly, & Evie