Happy Heavenly 2nd Birthday Tiny Tim!

I can't believe it has been two years already - two years since Timothy has been dancing with Jesus...fishing in the river...laughing with his Grandpa. 

Gauging by his two his cousins who were born right around the same time, he would be starting to talk...starting to show his own little personality...starting to have his own little attitude.  He would be obsessed with babies, demanding his own way, insisting on multiple cookies, and wanting to be "in" on everything big sister Evie did.

Gauging by how Evie is with her little brother Frankie...she would be taking care of him, they would be inseparable, they would play together and make each other laugh, and look for each other first thing in the morning.  If we made a trip without him...she would be asking where he is.
Oh the love she would have for you Baby Timothy. 

We did not forget you today Timothy.  We released balloons up to heaven with notes of love on them for you, did you receive them?  We baked cupcakes, we talked about you, Evie pretended that Frankie was you, and she was your mommy.  And we received messages all day long from so many people who missed you and thought of you today.

Last year your Uncle "Teve" named a star after you - you are my star.  Your life shines so brightly for all to see.   I promise to continue to tell your big sister and little brother about you, I promise to always share your story...and I promise to never stop celebrating you.  

Happy Birthday to my precious little one.

The Veggie Wrap

Veggie wraps make me cry.  Okay, not just any veggie wrap, specifically Au Bon Pain's Mediterranean wrap.  My work travels often bring me to the train station in Washington D.C..  On my way home I always look for something quick to grab for dinner for the ride home.  Invariably, I find myself circling the refrigerator section, telling myself, this time, I will grab my one-time favorite Mediterranean wrap...and invariably...I find myself tearing up even looking at the sandwich.  I'm pretty sure on more than one occasion, other passengers bustling through the station have noticed.  You see some pretty crazy things at the train station...so I suppose they chalk it up to just another crazy crying over sandwiches. 

It's amazing how the tiniest thing can you take you back so quickly, to an exact feeling, an exact moment in time.  The night we had Timothy, I found myself at midnight, with my husband quietly asleep in the hospital bed next to me, trying over tears to eat my Mediterranean veggie wrap.  It's the Italian in me I suppose, running to food for comfort. I don't think I made it much beyond two bites.

So...two years later...I am still not able to eat my favorite sandwich.  It's just a reminder, that at any moment, you may never know what will set you off.  It's the "new normal" that I knew one day would become my life when we first heard Timothy's diagnosis.

Timothy's life changed so many things in my life...my new normal has a new perspective.  It's knowing not to sweat the small stuff...it's appreciating the beauty of life, the miracle of a healthy baby, the blessing of children...it's being not afraid to share your story, and not afraid to stand up for what you believe in.  It's feeling 100% confident that God works all things for the good of those who love Him.

And with that new perspective...I guess it's time that I should start looking for a new favorite sandwich...
:)